I Will Choose to Look Up . . .

After reading and listening to news reports about Irma’s path of destruction in the Caribbean and Florida all day Sunday, I could not get to sleep. My mind would not rest. I got out of bed,  sat down in my recliner, and picked up  All My Days, a beautiful book written by my friend, Ellen Mainville.  

Ellen is a wise and gentle woman who truly walks with God. He is in her book. I highly recommend it. When I read it, his Spirit comforts me, encourages me, and gently corrects me.

On Sunday night, I read Ellen’s poetic meditation “Love is Hard.” It resonated with me. Yes, love is hard. Sometimes it feels too hard. Love is also a choice.

Sometimes I don’t want to make that choice.  Sunday night, I renewed my desire to make the hard choices that love requires; I expressed that desire in the following poem of my own.

I Will Choose to Look Up

I will choose to look up
When I’m feeling down
I will choose to smile
When I want to frown

I will choose to be kind
When I’m feeling cross
I will choose to forgive
When I’ve suffered loss

I will choose to give
When I want to keep
I will choose to climb
When the road is steep

I will choose to pray
When my faith is small
I will choose to hope
When I feel none at all

I will choose to trust
When I know not why
I will choose to sing
When I want to cry

I will choose to stay
When I want to split
I will choose to rest
When I don’t want to quit

I will choose to follow
When I want to direct
I will choose to honor
When I’ve received no respect

I will choose to obey
When I want to rebel
I will choose to be silent
When I want to tell

I will choose to protect
When I want to expose
I will choose to be silent
When I want to disclose

I will choose to give thanks
When I want to complain
I will choose to learn more
When I want to stay the same

I will choose to resist
When I want to give in
I will choose to love
When I feel nothing within

I will choose not to remain
In the swamp of regret
I will choose to persist
When my strength is spent

I will choose to write
When I’m struggling with doubt
A flickering light
I will not put out

I will focus my eyes
On the heavenly scene
And choose as my treasure
That which can’t be seen

9/10/17 Jane Ault

These verses depict the choices I want always to make. Do I always make them? Not even for one day. My will power is insufficient; about an hour after I wake up, it becomes nonfunctional. For example, I might get irritated at my husband or complain about my dietary restrictions.  Because God is gracious, I receive forgiveness and move on. In a cooperative relationship with the Spirit, which I call ” the dynamic  dance of choosing grace”, the Holy Spirit gives me the ability and to make the choices that I , apart from him, cannot do. 

14 thoughts on “I Will Choose to Look Up . . .

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