When my husband and I were first married, we had a rather heated discussion about what position the toilet seat should be placed in. Being a woman I, of course, said it should be left down. (More correctly, I demanded this.) Being a man John, of course, said it should be left up. For the first fifty years, I won. (We are now working on our second fifty years.)
About a month ago, John became quite ill. Because of the intense pain that he was in, it was difficult for him to bend down and lift up the toilet seat. Having some compassion, I made sure that I left the seat up.
He is feeling better; yet, I am still being intentional about leaving the seat up. After fifty years of him honoring my simple desire, I’m choosing to honor his simple desire. It feels good for me to perform this simple act. It’s an example of the ordinary and practical love described in Scripture–love “does not demand its own way” (1 Corinthians 13:5 NLT). Guess what? My husband, remarkably, still puts the seat down for me. He is a genuinely humble, kind, and loving person.
By being picky about the everyday ordinary events of life, we can easily become discontent in our relationships. We can become blind to the love that is there–the love that we have and want (long for) something “perfect” but unattainable.
The song that I’m sharing speaks to issue.
Make the Love That You Have . . .
Make the love that you have
The love that you want
Do not keep on looking
For something that is not.
There are no perfect marriages
Every family has flaws
Conflicts will arise;
Try not to be the cause.
Make the love that you have
The love that you want
Do not keep on looking
For something that is not.
There are no perfect churches,
Earth is not a perfect place
End foolish judgments
Give one another grace.
Make the love that you have
The love that you want
Do not keep on looking
For something that is not.
Even after fifty years
Problems can arise
Quickly acknowledge them
Do not be surprised
Make the love that you have
The love that you want
Do not keep on looking
For something that is not.
Together go to Jesus
Open up; share your heart,
Forgive and embrace;
Make a brand new start.
Make the love that you have
The love that you want
Do not keep on looking
For something that is not.
Share your gifts with everyone
Do not hold them back
God, the source of every grace,
Will give you what you lack.
10/27/17
Jane, it’s so easy to take the small acts of kindness and consideration our loved ones show us for granted. I really like the poem! You really have a way of expressing God’s truths in ways that help us move from head knowledge to application and changed hearts.
I feel encouraged by your comment, Laurell. Thank you! The poems which I write often reflect the changes God is making in my own heart.
Thank you Jane for your humble reminder on how we should love. Thank you. I hope to catch up soon with you.
Thank you for your comment, Steph. Yes, I want to catch up with you, too. You’ve been a blessing to me, and I thank God for you.
I hope that John is feeling better. In everything that happens, there is a lesson to be learned, a heart to be turned.
Yes, Judith. Everything is a matter of the heart. And thank you for asking, John is feeling better.
I love your stories from your marriage, Jane. They help me keep in perspective my own marriage and relationships. I needed the reminder to be more content. Thank you, Jane!
Thanks, Sandy! In every life situation, there’s an opportunity to grow. Marriage offers many of them.