Today’s post is written by my friend, Rosemary Losser. We are both passionate in our desire to teach others 1) how to grow toward emotional and spiritual maturity and 2) how to develop better relationship and peacemaking skills.
I invited Rosemary to share her story because, through it, she both illustrates God’s power in prayer and talks about choices we must make in order to access that power and “grow relationships that reflect His image”.
I love the fact that she wrote her concluding prayer in the form of a poem.
How God Healed My Broken Marriage
My husband and I loved each other, but we had no idea how to live it out on a daily basis. We were not patient, or kind. We insisted on our own way. We were irritable, resentful and rude to each other. We kept a record of wrongs–a dirty laundry list–and read them off to each other regularly. We did not bear all things, or endure all things. We had lost all hope.
(“How good and pleasant it is
when God’s people live together in unity”! Psalm 133:1 NIV)
We did not even know it was possible to have a pleasant relationship. Both sets of our parents loved each other and were faithful to live together into old age. But they did not know how to demonstrate their love either, so we did not have good role models. However, we could not blame our parents. We had to take responsibility for our own lives and our own walk with the Lord.
It is embarrassing to admit that we were Christians but struggled in our relationship for many years. We cried out in prayer for things to change. He saved and healed our marriage and we give him all the glory. You may be asking, how did He do it?
You may be surprised to hear us say that prayer alone was not enough. God gives us free will so he does not intervene without our cooperation. Praise God for his love, patience, and kindness toward us.
We had to not only pray; we had to put forth the effort to follow His commands. We had to choose to love—to be kind and patient.
We believe our prayers helped us to want to change, which in turn lead us to the knowledge of what to change and then how to change. In simplest terms… we had to unlearn old communication patterns and learn new ones. We had to learn new LIFE skills!
The skills we learned apply to any relationship. By God’s mercy and grace, He has blessed me with the ability to put all I have learned into simple terms. And, He has given me the desire to teach others how to have peace-full relationships.
I wrote this prayer and I offer it to you for yourself or to share with someone you know who is living in difficult relationship.
Dear Lord, create in us the desire to
Learn new skills
limit what we say
listen all the way
Urge us to
Invite each other to
interests are the key.
Help us to focus on
Facts; not attacks
feelings that matter
forgiveness sets us free.
Teach us to
Empathize and recognize
elevate and respect.
evaluate: don’t hesitate.
Lord, we know you are never too late!
Pieces to Peace-Full Relationships
My marriage has been so much stronger since I stopped asking God to change my husband and/or my circumstances and started asking him to change my heart.
Thanks for your very pertinent and insightful comment, Renee! The same principle has been true in my life.
Thank you so much Jane for the opportunity to share my story and our breakthrough. My husband and I now have the joy of mentoring nearly – married and already married couples to practice these skills and grow these attitudes in their marriages. They are simple but not always easy mandates from God’s word hidden in plain sight. Thank you everyone for reading and encouraging others as well.
May God bless you and your husband as you mentor other couples in skills and attitudes that you’ve discovered in God’s Word.
Thank you, Jane for sharing this wisdom from Rosemary. And thank you Rosemary for sharing it. Now to live into it!
Thank you for reading and commenting on this post, Rhonda!
Thank you so much for sharing “both sides” of the relationship Rosemary! Thank you Jane for hosting this and inviting Rosemary to take part! Well done!
I’m so grateful for the opportunity to share this post from Rosemary! Thank you for your support, Mary Lou!
Thank you Rosemary for sharing your story of God’s redemption power in your marriage and the part that prayer played in changing you both. I love your prayer poem at the end which highlights LIFE. Blessings on you as you help others learn new ways of praying and communicating so they so can experience new life in their relationships.