This morning I read the Old Testament story of Elijah confronting the indecisive people of his day. One word stunned me. Paralyzed. Someone who is paralyzed goes nowhere. Someone who refuses to make a decision goes nowhere. I never thought my indecisiveness was too serious. I never thought about how it keeps me stuck.
What does it feel like to be stuck? I know what it’s like to get stuck in a snowdrift. I’ve driven into a snowdrift and stepped into a snowdrift. I could go nowhere. The more I moved the deeper my car or feet sunk into the snow. Until I called for and received help, I remained there. Cold. Lonely. Anxious.
I thought about what decisions I’ve been avoiding. One is the decision whether or not to renew my website for another year or not? Whether or not to keep writing and posting my blog? I thought about how this indecision has been affecting me. How is it keeping me stuck?
This is what I realized. Not making a decision is a decision. It’s a ‘No’ I’m not admitting to. Not writing and posting anything has been kept me stuck in a snow drift of negative thinking. Self-doubt. Anxiety. Do I want to get out of this drift? Yes. I do. With the help of God’s grace, I am doing so. I’m making a commitment to write and publish a post every Friday.
Maybe you would like to ask yourself these questions.
- What decisions am I avoiding?
- Why am I avoiding them?
- In what way(s) is this failure to me?