I have not seen my sister’s grave,
Though via Zoom I saw the place
My heart still weeps in unbelief
A twin cannot be replaced.
I want to sing with her again
Enter into heaven’s space
I know I will in future time
God’s promise cannot be erased
That hope causes me to smile
While tears run down my face
My journey of faith struggles into hope is available. Preview and purchase Songs of Joy in the Valley of TearsHERE
What do you focus on when you feel anxious? Your pounding heart? Your tight throat? Your racing thoughts?
I've done that and anxiety escalates. Several times, I've ended up in the ER. Gradually, I've learned anxiety doesn't need to control my life. I can control it. The following story is an example.
For many years, when we traveled beyond the boundaries of the familiar roads my husband and I normally take, he did most of the driving. That’s not because I was incapable of navigating more crowded highways. It was because John enjoyed driving, and I enjoyed relaxing or reading books. The problem was: I gradually lost confidence in my driving ability. I didn’t realize this had happened until I needed me to make an eight-hour trip by myself.
My immediate thought was, “I can’t handle this! I’ll have an accident!” I felt almost panic level anxiety. Were those feelings a red light signaling me to stop? In some instances, intense anxiety could be warning me of danger, and it would not be wise to proceed. Sometimes, the opposite is true. Anxiety is a green light, telling me to go ahead; it’s safe to proceed.
Emotions, such as anxiety, are like a “tree” with roots (core beliefs), limbs and branches (conscious thoughts), leaves (feelings) and fruit (attitudes and behavior). Read more about this in Emotional Freedom
If we focus on the feeling-part of anxiety, it can overwhelm us. We will automatically act as if it’s a red light and stop forward movement. When we continue to allow feelings of intense anxiety to determine our direction in life, these are the consequences. We become more and more anxious. We withdraw from people and avoid doing things. We stay home. Our world becomes smaller and smaller. And we feel increasingly incompetent and unable to handle anything unfamiliar in life.
Instead of focusing on the feeling-part of anxiety, it’s helpful to turn our attention to the thinking-part of anxiety. We can ask God to show us our thoughts about anxiety and whether they're based on truth or lies. By asking appropriate questions and considering all the possible actions (behaviors) we might take, we can determine whether our anxiety is a red light warning us of actual danger; a yellow light telling us we need to slow down and prepare ourselves for success; or a green light telling us it’s wise to ignore our anxious feelings and keep moving ahead.
I decided my driving-related anxiety was a yellow light signaling me to slow down, not a red light signaling me to stop. I looked at my destination and determined the route that would be easiest for me to drive. I scheduled the time I'd be driving through large cities so that I could avoid rush hour traffic. I asked friends to pray for me. After that, I decided that anxiety was a green light. I made the trip without my husband. Did I feel totally at peace while driving? No, I did not. A couple of times, I got lost. My heart pounded. I felt like crying. I stopped, prayed, felt calmer, and got back on the road. When I finally reached my destination, I felt very tired, very thankful, very happy, and much more confident in my ability to drive.
Questions to Consider:
In what situations do you think of anxiety as a red light? A yellow light? A green light?
If it’s a red light, what good things is it keeping you from doing?
How could you prepare yourself to safely “feel the fear and do it anyway”?